Eleanor Blair (lnr) wrote,
Eleanor Blair

  • Mood:


Things I have done this week:

  • Tried to get hold of accommodation for Whitby in November, using Google and by ringing and mailing people
  • Ordered a copy of my BA certificate from Oxford, having never got round to it before
  • Rung Hertford and got them to send me the forms for my MA
  • ordered new ink cartridges for the printer
  • ordered new hairdye for myself, and a random gift for a friend, but tried to avoid spending much otherwise
  • Moved some money from my current account to savings account, and contacted the latter about an error at their end
  • changed my standing order into the joint account to reflect the fact rjk's now earning again and can contribute a larger amount again
  • arranged to pay off my last credit card in full each month by direct debit, so now I can't get into real debt on any of them
  • ordered a replacement recycling box from the council for the one that blew away or was stolen
  • lots of washing and tidying and washing up, plus sorted through my clothes to remove all the ones I never wear or which won't fit
  • More or less kept up with stuff at work, with some pretty good rearguard action against some nasty spamming tactics

So what I can't work out is why I still feel so useless and unproductive. I'm really struggling with the diet, and have a horrid feeling I might have put more weight back on this week, I'll have to wait and see tonight. I really *don't* want to weigh more than I do now in the longer term, even if I'm still not sure whether I really need to lose this one extra half stone that I'm trying to shift. I *like* being officially a healthy weight.

Perhaps it's just because I'm seeing so many relationships fall apart around me, and so many people unhappy and because I've stopped taking the ADs and Richard's feeling down too. If I'm not feeling better by the end of the month I think I'll go back to the docs and try again. And I've given myself another 6 weeks after tonight to either be close to reach 10.5 stones or if it's not working to sticj to 11 stones as my ultimate target instead. Hopefully I can avoid any more really bad weeks like this one has been foodwise. But I do really wish I could make Richard feel better because that would just lift such a weight off my mind. And just not being so tired would help.


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