Given all this positive stuff though I dunno why I still have so much down at the moment. Even the bits I can articulate at all I can't think of how to say without sounding bitchy, which is infuriating. Despite reassurances and so on I still feel too much like I'm having to compete with Vicky for Richard's attention. Little things like the fact he pays attention to what Vicky thinks of his clothes and hair, despite never having seemed to take any notice if I do. I'm sure it's just really the whole New Relationship Energy thing when compared to how comfortable we've grown together over the years, but it's still difficult. And having Vicky being perky at me about how happy they are together doesn't eally help either, no matter how happy I am to see it on the one hand. Stupid conflicts between wanting them to be getting on well and seeing each other and so on and it hurting when they do. Dunno what to do about it all really.
And I'm still tired, and have been all week, and with a busy weekend coming up don't see that making much improvement. Although I am looking forward to things.