Eleanor Blair (lnr) wrote,
Eleanor Blair

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So after my initial fairly positive post things got a bit worse and then they got better again. Vicky and I seemed to manage a rather impressive positive feedback loop effect briefly of making each other worse, but seem to have escaped it now.

Can you put the genie back in the bottle? I think this should work OK, but if it doesn't RJK thinks he can go back to a non-open relationship if that's all I can cope with. But what if he can't? I don't want to ask that of him and don't intend to need to, but it's worrying to think it might come to that and then all fall apart. I think we're too close for that though really.

Other than similar little niggles I am however feeling pretty good. I love this man to bits and he loves me too and makes sure I know it. We intend to be together always so if we have to work round things which are difficult sometimes then we will. And knowing this makes us feel even closer if anything. All the late nights up talking (and whatever) have really helped and so has everyone who has offered hugs but especially Vicky for being so nice to me even when I've been hard to deal with, so thanks lots.

A quiet weekend with my parents around is going to do me some good I'm sure, though it does limit opportunities to talk about stuff during the day. In a way that's a good thing as it stops me dwelling on it too much IYSWIM.

Anyway, I just want to stress that I'm OK honest, so people don't worry too much :-)

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