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Saturday, July 17th, 2004

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Karen's dreads look great, even if I do say so myself. E-J is looking gloriously red again. And I am very blonde indeed. A very pleasant way to spend the evening. And I was even introduced to the joys of watching Big Brother. Um. Now I ache, but it was worth it.
Had a bit of a wobbly bit this afternoon. I'm not getting much done around the house, and it's a tip, including the lawn. I still haven't got round to talking to work about going back, and they've sent me a letter today as a reminder. My mum and dad will be visiting in a week's time and staying for the whole week, including both weekends, and then I'm supposed to be back at work. I'm looking forward to seeing them, but at the same time not. Bits of me are feeling guilty for being poly. I'm struggling to feel like I'm spending enough time with anyone I want to, and worrying about making people feel left out. As well as about hurting people round the edges. And I'm feeling useless in terms of being able to help anyone else who's unhappy too, and feeling like I'm letting people down. All in all I spent an hour or so not feeling like a very worthwhile person at all.

But helping rjk with the washing up helped a bit, at least I can do something useful, and I've put the dinner on now too, and there's some washing on and maybe I can mow the lawn tomorrow and get letter to work written. And the rest will no doubt work itself out in time.

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