July 10th, 2004

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Wimping out

Once again I don't have the energy to make it to London, so Pete's will have to celebrate without me, though I'm sure there'll be lots of lovely people to help. I even have something to wear now, since my new black PVC mini-skirt arrived, but never mind, I'll save it for another occasion. Richard might make it out to Girton, but I'm feeling more like staying in. At least I know I'll get out of the house tomorrow for Shrek, and that should be fun. And I've still been enjoying my book, a terrible game of chess and some buffy.

Part of it is just tiredness, but I think another part just doesn't want to see people. I don't feel like I'm very much of an addition to any party. Finding it hard to have anything much to say to anyone. And while you can get round that by lots of snogging some of the time it just feels crass. I'm a bit sick of only feeling validated if other people find me attractive, as nice as it is.