September 3rd, 2003


TV saga

Realised late yesterday evening that there was a note stuck in our letter box, obviously hadn't noticed it when we came in. This basically said TNT had tried to deliver but we'd been out. Despite unbeatable having rjk's mobile number they'd only passed on the landline number to TNT.

So I rang TNT this morning, told them we'd been told to expect the TV on Monday, and asked what we could do to arrange redelivery. They took my name and mobile number and said customer services would call me back. Said something about there being some unusual notes on the file, but didn't say what they said. No sign of a return call yet (I spent the morning in a meeting, but nothing on the answerphone).

In other news not much to say. Spoke to my sister and my mum on the phone briefly. Steph was staying at a friends place last night before heading off to Spain for her new job, so just wanted to say bye and good luck. Mum was mostly ringing because she saw from my mail I was a bit down and wanted to cheer me up. She can tell I'm not great though, asked me to call again later in the week just so she knows I'm OK and can talk nonsense to me some more. Hopefully by then will be able to tell her how lovely the new TV is. Spent most of the rest of the evening reading.

Finished Banksie's Dead Air last night, which I rather enjoyed. There's a scene towards the end that means I won't be recommending it to my mum after all, since she doesn't like the nasty violent bits, but excellent book as far as I'm concerned. I'd have read it much sooner if I hadn't been put off by the hype about it being closely related to sept 11th. While the passage in the blurb does occur at the beginning of the book, and it does get mentioned later too, it's more sort of just the background of the year or so following that time which is the background of the book, rather than it being a huge part. It's Banksie, so the main character is a bit of a leftie, and it gets mentioned in that context, but well... If you usually like him and that was putting you off then I'd say give it a go.

Saga continues

Around lunchtime unbeatable mailed rjk, TNT had rung them (after the time of my call to TNT) and said we hadn't been in, so unbeatable wanted us to phone and arrange redelivery. Guy by mail said they'd tried all Tuesday to find out where it had got to but TNT's order tracking didn't have a clue. Girl on phone when I rang seemed to have no knowledge of this at all and just wanted me to give a time when they could try again. So I shall be home tomorrow and we shall see if it arrives. No idea now if it's TNT or unbeatable who are to blame for the mess so far.

Feeling more and more broken and don't know what to do about it. Have asked Paul to try find me some more work, as sitting staring at screen doing nothing and feeling guilty about it probably doesn't help. Heard nothing from contact at APU since I mailed her with dissertation proposal last week. Diet fucked. Keeping trying to get back to it and failing. And August still can't talk to me it seems. And no matter how much I can understand why it's impossible for him that doesn't make it any easier. I hurt and I hurt and I hurt.

Update: Big thanks to Paul for taking me out for a coffee and just having a long and wibbly conversation mostly about nothing much of importance. Feel a lot less lost at sea again. I think I might take a leaf out of rmc28's book though and ring my doctor tomorrow and try get an appointment. Happy pills might not fix anything, but maybe they'll take the edge of things and make me able to cope a bit better. (Thanks Emp for the hug too).