November 6th, 2002

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Oh sod

Sometimes things just seem so pointless it just makes me want to cry, so I am. I hate my job, and I hate sitting here not working feeling guilty about it but not able to do anything to make it better. And I hate it when people I care about fall out on irc channels and then go off in a huff and won't even talk to me when I send them hugs. And I hate feeling that really Richard would be much happier just going off and being with Vicky and then I wouldn't have to feel stuck in the middle any more because there wouldn't be any middle.

I don't feel like I'm doing any good to anyone at all at the moment, and why should anyone want to spend time with me if I feel like this?

[No longer friends-only]