Sometimes things can just be so draining. Lunch with August. Could barely eat, it was just making me feel sick, and didn't seem to be able to do anything but talk trivialities or cry. Took another half hour over a double Black Bush in the Bun Shop before 4 words that made me feel much better. Actions might speak louder, and I thought that was probably what they were saying, but sometimes you do need to hear it. Still tired, still pretty low, still feel sick to my stomach with the worry of it all, but I'm not despairing any more. Still don't know how it can all work out, but at least I can hope again that somehow we'll all find a way.