Eleanor Blair (lnr) wrote,
Eleanor Blair
lnr

Eurovision Song Contest Drinking Game

antinomy kindly posted the rules to the Eurovision Song Contest Drinking Game. This differs from my version only in that hers is slightly more lethal - I only count one drink's worth of each offence per act, not per individual item (so three performers in sparkly folk costume would be two drinks, not six). Since I can't drink at the moment (I'm limiting myself to a small glass on special occasions) I made notes as we went along instead. Here they are. I use the word "bling" throughout to refer to any form of spangle/lurex/glitter/sequins.

Lithuania

  • Pyrotechnics

Israel

  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Singing in more than one language
  • Bling
  • Folk instruments: tambourine, olive oil tin drums

Note: "Goth" ought to be another category in which to score points.

France

  • Very minor bling

Note: Nice song, awful outfit.

Sweden

  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Singing in a language not their own: French
  • And logically therefore: Singing in more than one language
  • Eyebrow bling
  • Costume change: masks = more bling

Croatia

  • Folk costume: boots
  • Costume change
  • Bling

The costume change was remarkably effective.

Portugal

  • Folk costume...
  • ... with bling
  • Folk instruments...
  • ... with bling!

Iceland

  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Bling: quite subtle
  • Key change!

Greece

  • Underwear as outerwear: corsetry
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Bling: sequins on shoulders
  • More bling: on the giant coffee table thing
  • Flag: or rather a picture of their flag, instead the giant coffee table thing

Armenia

  • Pyrotechnics
  • Folk costume
  • Bling: headdress
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Folk dance
  • Key change

Note: I think the lasers also deserved a drink.

Russia

  • Folk dress: backing singers

Note: main performer appears to be wearing a shower curtain

Azerbaijan

  • Pyrotechnics: multiple
  • Bling
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Military: the buttoned outfits of the backing singers
  • Underwear as outerwear: showing knickers
  • Folk instrument: ukelele thing

Note: these were the first costumes that really made me go WTF! I still haven't quite got over the strange shiny latex stockings.

Boznia and Herzegovina

  • Folk costume (ish)
  • Folk instruments
  • Military: buttons, boots, drums and medals are all military touches

Note: the bass player appears to be playing *my* bass. And they waved a large flag-like thing at one point, although I don't think it was their flag.

Moldova

  • Folk costume
  • Folk dancing
  • Flag: sort of, there was a man with a mop/banner thing.
  • Bling: very minor in the embroidered coat-tails

Malta

  • Bling
  • Singing in a language not their own: English (or is English her first language?)

Estonia

  • Bling

Note: "It does sort of grow on you... like mould". I can't actually remember this one at all.

Denmark

  • Folk costume (see note)
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Military: keyboard player's coat
  • Pyrotechnics

The singer had a slightly folk costume outfit, in that it looked a bit like what working class people might have worn 100 years ago. And his English even had an Irish accent (blame Ronan Keating, he wrote the song). The guitarist was very aww-bless in a far too young rocker sort of way, down to the big crucifix he was wearing, which was *nearly* but not quite bling.

Germany

  • Underwear as outerwear: kinda necessary when you're going for a burlesque show-tune
  • Bling bling bling trousers
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Pyrotechnics
  • *Tap* dancing
  • Key change
  • Costume change: Dita von Teese!

At this point Germany and Moldova are probably our favourites.

Turkey

  • Bling
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Folk costume
  • Pyrotechnics
  • Folk dance: bellydancing

Extra points for the male dancer with manga hair, and a skirt.

Albania

  • Performer doesn't appear to be human
  • Bling
  • Singing in a language not their own: English

Dancer entirely head to foot in skintight blue costume, with sequins instead of a face. Also very short clowns.

Norway

  • Folk dancing
  • Folk instrument
  • Folk costume: understated
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Pyrotechnics

Ukraine

  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Military: gladiators!
  • Underwear as outerwear: you could see their pants
  • Bling
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Flags
  • Pyro

This was in the very camp Eurovision tradition. At first I thought they might have been using their own language at first as well as English in the chorus, but hearing the second and third verses I'm pretty sure I was just failing to understand the accent.

Romania

  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Folk dancing: slightly

Their pretty costumes looked like something the fairies from A Midsummer Night's Dream might wear, but I couldn't tell if this is traditional folk dress in Romania.

UK

  • Bling: shoes, ring, mic
  • Key change: or just some missed notes?

Hopeless. A song which has one motif which is expanded on only slightly and arrogantly, and repeated ad nauseum, and appears to be stating the bloody obvious. Yes, this was your time on stage. Well done walking into the violinist. And please, leave the warbling to Mariah Carey, preferably as far away as possible.

Finland

  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Pyrotechnics
  • Bling

Do you get extra points for a rapper?

Spain

  • Bling
  • Singing in a language not their own: English
  • Singing in more than one language
  • Pyrotechnics

And thankfully that's the lot. I can see why Norway did well (a nice sentiment, well executed, cute singer in a cheeky chappie sort of way, but I found the English just a tiny bit simplistic in places, as if obviously written by a fluent but non-native speaker), and also Iceland and Turkey. I have no idea how we came 5th, or why Azerbaijan was popular and Germany not. Moldova nearly scraped into the top half, and deserved better. And France were much better at singing a straight song than we were.

And if you judge it on Eurovision clichés as embodied by this game then Germany and Ukraine were clear winners, with France coming last.

Tags: drinking games, eurovision
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 4 comments